A NotAtAll Fancy Surprise Party
by TheVeryBest
Summary: Puck and Kurt plan a surprise party for Finn. Kurt comes up with the perfect theme, managing to convince Puck that a Mario-themed party is not exactly the greatest idea.
1. In Which A Party is Planned & Starting

**I don't own Glee, but I could probably own you at Wii baseball.**

**Enjoy~**

* * *

It didn't take Puck long to spot him in the hallway. Kurt was wearing some ridiculous top hat and he stood out in the sea of hoodies and jeans.

"Yo Kurt. Wait up," Puck called as he hustled to catch up with him.

"What do you want? Make it quick." Kurt glared at Puck, remembering the last time the jock had voluntarily conversed with him. It had resulted in Kurt forking over some cash to pay for the slushies Puck had thrown in his face that month. Needless to say, Kurt wasn't expecting to hear anything pleasant.

"So dude, guess what?"

"Let's cut to the chase, Puck. How much money do you want?" Kurt's bitter tone produced a smirk form Puck.

"I don't need any money this time. Although I wouldn't really mind if you like, really wanted to give me some or something. Did you know that they raised the prices of slushies by 30 cents? Dude, what a rip-off. It's just crushed ice and flavoring. That crap should be free." Puck grumbled to himself. His pool-cleaning money was running out and he wasn't looking forward to thinking up more frugal forms of torture. That Jacob kid was always getting on his nerves, and he knew slushies couldn't be easy to wash out of that kid's hair.

"Then what _do_ you want? School's over and I have an appointment shortly."

Puck scoffed, "Please. How many damn facials do you need? It's not like the dudes here are exactly paying attention."

"I am offended by that. Just because _my_ complexion is flawless does _not_ mean you can assume that I excessively schedule facials." Once a week wasn't a lot. It was perfectly normal for a skin-conscious individual.

"Whatever dude. Anyway, you know Finn?"

Kurt rolled his eyes. "How can I not? I live with the boy. We share a _room, _Noah. And even if that weren't so, how could I not notice him? The boy's as tall as Abraham Lincoln was. With the hat."

"It was a yes or no question, Hummel."

"It was also a stupid, pointless question that you already knew the answer to." Kurt tried to leave, but Puck sped up so he could plant his feet firmly in front of Kurt, blocking his way. Kurt stopped so abruptly that his hat nearly fell to the ground, but Puck caught it.

"Thanks. You have no idea of the damage that you just prevented," Kurt said as Puck proudly presented his hat to him. Kurt placed the hat daintily on his head and adjusted it at an angle to properly display its magnificence.

"Dude! Did you _see _my mad ninja skills? Damn, no wonder chicks dig me." Puck sighed and leaned against a nearby locker. Kurt rolled his eyes and tried to march past again, but Puck held his arm out saying, "C'mon, Hummel. I haven't even told you what I was going to tell you yet."

"Then I suggest you get on with it. You're wasting my time that could be better spent plotting to end the repulsive reign of stirrup pants."

"Finn's birthday's coming up." Puck's gaze drifted away from Kurt as he thoughtfully continued, "I was thinking that since he's my boy and all, I could rustle up a little surprise party for him. And since you _live_ with him and whatever, I could use your help."

Kurt concentrated on keeping his face clear of emotions while excitement bubbled within him. Planning parties was almost as good as executing a successful makeover. He needed to handle this just right to get exactly what he wanted. _Okay, Hummel. Hands on your hips, stand straight, chin up, look the mohawked moron dead in the eye._ "What's in it for me?"

"Oh, c'mon dude, you get to, uh, you know, hang out with Finn and stuff. You ain't his type and all, but don't think I haven't noticed how giggly you get around him."

"Puck. I'm not even going to go into how ridiculously wrong you are." And Puck _was_ wrong. First of all, living with the boy meant Kurt spent more time with the kid than anyone else at school. Perhaps more time than he exactly enjoyed. Secondly, Finn and Kurt had long before established the need for a platonic relationship between them when they realized how serious their parents were getting (although Finn had just looked confused when Kurt said 'platonic' and said that they should just be 'bros'). "That being said, good day." Kurt tipped his hat like a gentleman and turned to keep Puck from seeing the smug look on his face.

Kurt started to walk away, but Puck grabbed his shoulder and said, "Wait!"

He turned slowly and looked up at Puck, hand on his hip and waited, looking as uninterested as possible.

"Okay, _fine._ I'll tell the jocks to lay off of you. No more freaking slushies," Puck had already pretty much given up slushies anyway. He needed to save up for the new Mario video game.

Kurt raised an eyebrow. "…Aaaand?"

"Dammit! Fine! No freaking dumpster diving either." Puck grumbled. It'd be harder to convince the jocks to stop that than with the slushies. He knew how funny they thought it was when Kurt obsessed over ruined outfits.

"Let me plan the party too, and you have yourself a deal."

"Whatever. I was going to let you do that anyway. But I get veto power. This was my idea anyway. Just don't think that this means we're gonna be best buddies or anything."

"Of course not. I'm pretty sure I'm allergic to hairstyles that were out of style before I was born. Now excuse me. I have to _rush _to my appointment." Kurt smirked as he walked away. Boys were just _too_ easy to manipulate sometimes.

"We'll talk about this at Glee tomorrow, Ladyfingers!" Puck called behind him.

"Sure thing, Buffy," Kurt said as he walked.

"…What?" Kurt could barely stop himself from laughing as he heard the confused tone in Puck's voice.

"Nothing, just admiring how buff you are. Gay guys love them muscles." Kurt said mockingly, but in a way that was convincing enough for Puck.

"Damn straight! No one can resist the Puckster."

Kurt knew Puck was flexing behind him and he let out a hard chuckle. Oh, the simple minds of the teenage football player.

* * *

Kurt was discussing messenger bags with Tina at Glee the next day. She had walked in with a simple black one slung over her shoulder and Kurt was trying to convince her to go shopping with him to find something with more color. He _needed_ a lavender-colored vest to perfect the outfit he was planning on wearing to Finn's birthday, but he didn't want to go shopping alone because that's just depressing. Mercedes was discussing Trig homework with Artie and Mike. Despite being a football player, Mike was in the advanced class with Artie, and Mercedes had a big test coming up, but instead of studying, she had gone to see the latest Harry Potter movie with Kurt and Tina (No regrets there – they had all fervently agreed that the Weasley boys were _fine_ and Malfoy wasn't so shabby either. Screw Harry.). Brittany and Santana were giggling quietly in a corner while Matt talked football with Finn. Rachel was pestering Mr. Schuester with suggestions for new numbers that would heavily feature her on vocals and Quinn was dozing in a chair.

Noah Puckerman sauntered in the way he always did, but instead of going over to Finn and Matt like he normally would have, he stopped in front of Kurt and looked down at him.

"Yes, Puck?" Kurt raised an eyebrow testily.

"You know what I want." Puck dropped into the empty seat next to Kurt.

Kurt sighed and turned to Tina. "Sorry, you'll have to excuse me. I need to discuss some things with Noah here. I'll pick you up tomorrow at noon to grab a bite to eat before we head to the mall."

Tina scrunched her eyebrows together in confusion, but nodded at Kurt before going to sit with Artie.

"Congratulations, you now have my full attention. Kindly inform me of your general plans of the event and I will strive to make sure my decorations and theme go along with what you have in mind." Kurt crossed his legs primly as he waited for Puck's response.

"Dude, why can't you talk like a normal person? You sound like a total douche half the time." Puck crossed his arms and slid down in his seat so that his head could rest on the back of his chair.

"I'm speaking English in a way that makes me sound smart. You could try it sometime. Although you're probably incapable of it."

"I'm going to pretend that I didn't hear that last bit, Hummel. Next time, I'll pummel you so hard that you won't be able to sound smart or dumb because you can't make a noise if your mouth has been punched to fragments, right?"

"Oh, I'm _so_ scared."

Puck sighed and put his hands up. "Look dude, I know we don't get along. And as much as this pains me to say, let's try to act civilized here."

Kurt brushed a portion of his hair away from his face as he replied with a sigh, "You're right. For Finn. But only temporarily. Because I loathe you."

"Well, don't that just warm my heart right there. Never gonna get tired of hearing that."

"Let's get on with it, Puck. What exactly did you have in mind?"

Puck sat up enthusiastically, his hands gesturing wildly as he said, "I was thinking of a Super Mario theme goin' on. Like, what if all the guests had to like, crawl through a giant green pipe to get into the party, and people'd have to dress up as all the different characters – dibs on Bowser, that dude's badass; you can be Yoshi 'cause y'all have the same voice – and the cake would be shaped like a mushroom, and we could hang those block-things from the ceiling and they'd be like piñatas, only people'd have to break 'em open with their heads and–"

"I'm going to go ahead and stop you right there because this is beginning to sound like the birthday party of your childhood fantasies that you were deprived of, which almost makes me feel sorry for you and I just can't tolerate that." Kurt pinched the bridge of his nose and tried not to start ranting about the absurdity of Puck's plan (especially the last bit with the blocks. Kurt had wanted to shove his new scarf in Puck's mouth when he heard that. And he _adored_ that scarf).

"Dude, you don't know what you're talking about. That game _changed the world_." Puck's eyes got all misty as he looks off into space.

"Right. There're all sorts of things that I am dying to say but can't. They aren't exactly what one would call civilized." Kurt crossed his arms.

"Fine." Some people refuse to see the light, Noah figures with a shrug. "Football theme?"

"No. I refuse to do a sport themed party because one, sport themed parties are incredibly tacky, and two, I don't support sports. Sports are just adrenaline-fueled, sweaty guys chasing after a ball in hopes of finding an excuse to punch somebody."

"What the hell do _you_ suggest then, Hummel?" Puck hissed, leaning close to Kurt, trying to look threatening. "A ballet theme? Princess glitter everywhere? Heart-shaped confetti? Barbies hanging on the walls? Tiaras instead of birthday hats?"

"What, you want it your way? Fine, let's all dress up as freaking _Mario_ and while we're at it, let's show football games on a plasma TV while chugging cheap beer – or better yet, let's hire strippers!" retorted Kurt, hands thrown exasperatedly in the air before crossing them tightly across his chest.

Kurt says the last part rather loudly and they both realize that the rest of the Glee club is staring at them in confused bewilderment.

"…Dude. What the hell are you guys talking about?" Finn asked slowly.

"Why are you guys even talking to each other in the first place?" Santana scoffed.

"Did you say something about strippers, Kurt? As your teacher, I don't think I can tolerate that," said Mr. Schuester sternly.

"I'm with Mr. Schuester. In addition, I would like to make clear that I most definitely do _not _support strippers. I believe that as a growing woman, it is insulting to my very gender that –" Rachel started, hands on her hips.

Quinn cut her off before she could work up a rant. "Oh my God, do everyone here a favor and _shut up_."

"It was a joke," Kurt added, adjusting his scarf. "And you think _I'm_ the sexist one? You're forgetting that I'm gay, so it wouldn't make sense for me to want female strippers, now would it? I say 'stripper,' and you automatically think of a female one. Don't you find that interesting?"

Rachel looked around flabbergasted, for once at a loss for words. Kurt smirked.

"…Right!" Mr. Schuester loudly said after a moment of awkward silence, "As you all may or may not know, a member of Glee club has a birthday coming up. In honor of this, I think that Finn should pick our next Glee assignment."

Everyone turned to look at Finn, who just ran his hand through his hair and mumbled incoherently. "Um…"

"C'mon, Finn. What's the first thing that comes to mind?"

"…Bon Jovi?" Finn shrugs. It seems like a pretty safe idea to him.

"Bon Jovi it is! Good choice, Finn." Mr. Schuester clapped his hands and continued, "You guys remember when the boys performed that mash-up with Bon Jovi, right? You guys did great – and this time you're going to do even better. …Without the 'extra help.'" His voice trailed off towards the end as he remembered when his ex-wife had given the students decongestants that had resulted in them acting like 12 Energizer Bunnies. He shook his head and told the kids to start working.

Rachel crossed her arms, clearly unhappy with how the meeting had turned out. She comforted herself with the idea that when her birthday came, she would pick Broadway hits as her theme and she'd get all the solos she'd ever dreamed of.

Kurt turned to Puck, eyes wide. "That's it. Bon Jovi," he said breathlessly.

"Yeah, dude. That's what Schue said."

"No. I mean for the party. Bon Jovi. We'll all perform a Bon Jovi song for Finn. No ridiculous over-the-top theme. Finn's simple, so we keep the party simple. But we add the karaoke rock that Finn for whatever reason loves. Beautiful." Kurt was so excited that he was starting to get breathless as he started planning the fabulously extravagant simple party in his head. Puck contemplated Kurt's idea and nodded.

"Yeah. I like it. Question though."

"What?"

"Are you even _capable_ of doing something simple?"

Kurt smiled smugly and said, "You've forgotten who I am. I can do anything."

Puck laughed quietly and asked, "Need me for anything?"

Kurt took out a notebook and started scribbling down various ideas and designs while he answered, "Yes. Go tell our fellow Glee club members that a surprise party will be held for our good friend in precisely one week. Inform them of our decision to perform the Bon Jovi thing there, too."

Puck nodded ran his hand through his mohawk and went over to tell Mike, Artie, and Mercedes first.

* * *

"Okay, my dad and Carol are going to keep him busy for about an hour while we set up," Kurt announced to the people gathered in his room as he hung up the phone.

"What exactly are they doing with him?" Artie asked.

"They're taking him to some random restaurant," answered Puck.

"Knowing Finn, it's Mexican," Kurt said in disgust, wrinkling his nose.

"Okay. So what exactly should we do, Kurt?" Rachel adjusted her skirt and stood up straighter as she waited for an answer.

"What _you_ should do is go home, change, and burn that ridiculous outfit you have deemed is something acceptable to wear in public, despite the fact that it should never have been worn _at all_. However, I sense that you find it 'cute' or 'flattering' and we all know how much you want to impress Finn," Kurt said disapprovingly before continuing, "Anyhoo, let's move on. I'd rather not spend time thinking about what you're wearing. It's bad for my health. Therefore, you, Rachel, are going to go out and buy the food for the party. That way, you aren't around to make me want to drown myself in the toilet bowl from a combination of having to listen to your irritatingly grating voice and the repulsive thought of that particular skirt entering my home. And I know you've already got the routine memorized perfectly, because out of all of us here, you have the most free time." He handed her a list of snacks and money and turned his back on her dismissively. Kurt was mean when he was stressed, and Rachel knew him well enough to realize that. Nonetheless, she stuck her tongue out at him and left feeling somewhat better.

"Everybody else, make sure you have the dance moves down perfectly. I'm talking to you, Puck," Kurt ordered. Puck just rolled his eyes as Kurt continued, "Now, excuse me. I have to go get ready."

"Get ready? What do you mean?" Artie asked in confusion. Kurt was wearing a pinstripe button down shirt with a v-necked vest and the usual skinny jeans, so Artie thought he couldn't have meant having to change outfits.

"Every moment of your life is an opportunity for fashion!" Kurt sang as he grabbed an outfit hanging in closet and pranced into his bathroom, before beckoning at Mercedes to join him. Mercedes nodded at Artie in agreement before following him, shutting the door firmly behind her.

"Is he seriously getting changed with her?" Santana said, "Isn't it like, awkward or something?"

"I'm pretty sure they're related or something," Brittany said, as if that solved everything. Quinn shook her head in frustration while Tina and Artie shared a dumbfounded look. Everyone else was too accustomed to Brittany's confusing logic to care.

"Dudes!" Puck commanded, "We don't have enough time to be screwing around. We got less than an hour to make sure we got this thing down. We haven't practiced in Kurt's basement yet, so we should do that to make sure we don't like, break his… tiara collection?" Puck looked at Kurt's desk confusedly.

"I heard that!" Kurt called from his bathroom, "Touch my babies and you're dead!"

"No problem with that, dude," Puck muttered under his breath with a grimace before instructing the Glee club members to start dancing.

* * *

**Hey, so this is my first fanfic, ever. ****This is how I'm choosing to deal with my Glee withdrawal. **

**I'm somewhat it love with Kurt Hummel, and it just seemed so much fun to write a Puckurt fanfic. It's not going to be a romance, I'm going to go ahead and tell you that. I think that Puck loves breasts way too much to give them up for Kurt (foolish boy, that Puck). **

**I'm about to go on a vacation to various European cities [OH GOD YES], so I'm not sure when this'll be finished. Maybe while I'm lounging on a lounge-able piece of furniture, I'll be able to finish this up. I'm pretty sure I'm going to be busy observing the scenery (the scenery being the uh, landmarks and not at all the hot European boys) so like, I said, not sure about when it'll be done. **

**Thanks for reading, and if you have the time, I'd appreciate reviews!**

**Because, y'know. Kurt Hummel _really _likes people who review, if y'know what I mean. **


	2. In Which the Second Half Of the Story Is

Fifteen minutes later, they were done practicing and Kurt and Mercedes had emerged from the bathroom ("Dude, I thought you'd be in there for at least an hour," Puck had said, to which Kurt responded, "Yes, I get how you'd think that looking _this_ good would make you think that it takes a while to prepare, and I'm flattered." Puck had just shaken his head), so Kurt began issuing orders left and right.

"Puck, hang up this disco ball. You're the one I would care least about if there was an accident involving you falling off the chair and the disco ball landing and breaking on your head."

"I thought this party was supposed to be simple?" Puck asked, taking it and studying it in his hands.

"Yes, well, I figured that we needed some extra shine and sparkle. And, other than my adorable blue eyes, what can be more shiny and sparkly than a disco ball?" Kurt fluttered his eyelids cutely and turned to Tina. "Okay, now _you_ get to pick the CD's. A good party always has a wide variety of background music going on. Get Artie to help you." He shoved a massive box filled with music albums into her hands.

Tina fumbled with the box for a second, and then hastily dropped it onto Artie's lap – the box was rather heavy and for once, Artie was glad he couldn't feel his legs. Tina looked at him apologetically. "Oops! Sorry, Artie."

"Mike! Matt!" Kurt called, placing his hands on his hips and tapping his foot impatiently as they hurried over to him. "Upstairs, there is a rug rolled up in the closet in the living room. Bring it down here and lay it out over there," he said, pointing. Kurt had bought a white carpet so that no one would slip and fall while performing. His floor was slippery, and he wouldn't allow anyone to wear shoes in the house, so they walked around in their socks. Better safe than sorry, Kurt had thought with a shrug as he had not-at-all eagerly handed over the rather large amount of money.

"Quinn! Call that fashion-challenged brat and ask her where the hell she is. It can't take that long to drive to Wal Mart, pick up some junk food, and come back. Finn will be here shortly." Kurt paused and continued in thought, "Actually, I guess I wouldn't know. I've never actually stepped foot in there. Don't want to risk catching a disease. After all, it's Puck's favorite place to buy clothes, and you do know how I feel about –"

"Whatever. On it." Quinn saluted him mockingly and pulled out her phone.

Brittany skipped up to Kurt and asked with a bright smile, "What should I do?"

Kurt thought carefully, not wanting to hurt her feelings but at the same time not really wanting to let her do anything. His party – well, Finn's party really – _had_ to be absolutely perfect, and with Brittany helping, that wouldn't be a guarantee. "You, honey, get a very important job." He led her to his bookshelf, grabbed a coloring book (Kurt babysat a lot – how else could he afford his elaborate outfits? No way he'd color in his free time. That would be stupid, not to mention immature and most certainly not sophisticated or elegant, which meant Kurt was not interested at all), and led her to his desk, where he sat her down slowly before pushing a box of crayons to her. "You get to color in this coloring book!"

"Wow! A 64-pack!" She examined the box of crayons happily.

"Yes, and you can color any page you want! Just… not that page. Or that one." He flipped through the pages and settled on one and left her to it. "And don't break the crayons."

Kurt spun around. "Mike, Matt, have you finished setting up the performance area?" he asked them.

"Yeah, dude. Rug's there," Matt assured.

He walked over to Mercedes who was surveying the room with Santana and said, "Now, Mercedes. I'm going to make you look absolutely stunning." He pushed her over to his bathroom and grabbed his makeup bag reserved for makeovers. He didn't wear makeup himself (he was gay, not a drag queen), but he knew how to use it.

Kurt sat her down on a stool and proceeded to apply everything Mercedes was willing to wear, not without a lot of begging and pleading from Kurt as he brandished the various tools necessary. Santana watched attentively, asking questions now and then, all of which Kurt answered expertly.

"Voila!" he proudly announced at last, and Mercedes looked herself over in the mirror and grinned.

"Not bad, white boy," she praised, fluffing her hair a bit.

"Oh my God, you _have_ to do me sometime," Santana said, impressed.

"It'd be my pleasure," Puck said suddenly, walking in with a suggestive look at Santana. She smiled at him, raising an eyebrow, and left.

"What do you want, Puckerman?" Kurt asked with a slight air of annoyance.

"Your dad called. They're on their way." Puck leaned against the door frame.

"Oh my God, you have _got _to be kidding me!" Kurt moaned, "Rachel isn't even here yet!"

"I beg your pardon?" a voice called from Kurt's room. Kurt marched out, pushing past Puck, and tore the bags of food from Rachel's hands.

"Finally! Next time, I'm sending someone to go with you," he snarled savagely before stomping over to the table set aside for food, arranging the snacks.

"Seriously, Rachel. Sir Fabulous here got dressed faster than it took you to buy all that crap." Puck said to her. Kurt pretended he didn't hear him.

"Kurt, Tina and I have successfully chosen a selection of CD's that would definitely appeal to Finn's taste in music as well as the majority of the members of our Glee club." Artie said, indicating towards the stack of music in Tina's hands.

"Perfect," Kurt eyed the CD on the top of the pile and made a noise of approval. "CD player is on the shelf over there." He pointed to it, and Artie nodded and headed over there, Tina following.

They all froze when, minutes later, they heard the door slam upstairs and Kurt's dad clomping around as he called towards the basement, "Well, Finn! That was a great meal! We should do that again! Soon! Yes! Good idea!"

"Yes! I agree! It was very enjoyable! Glad we're home now! Home!" Carol echoed.

Kurt rolled his eyes and sighed. He needed to sign them up for acting lessons, because frankly, their pathetic attempts were getting too painful to listen to. "Everyone," he whispered loudly, "Get ready!"

Everyone scrambled to their places as quietly as possible. He clapped his hands and the lights went out. He heard Brittany whisper something that sounded vaguely like, "Woah, Kurt's magic!" and they waited quietly as they heard Finn approach the stairs leading to the basement.

"Kurt? You here? Our parents are being really weird and they told me to come talk to you. I don't get it." Finn fumbled for the light switch at the bottom of the stairs; he never really remembered that there were clapper lights. When the lights came on, they all called out, "Surprise!" and Finn jumped and clutched at his chest. Kurt stepped forward.

"Hello, Finn Hudson."

The confused look on Finn's face turned into an embarrassed grin as he noticed his friends standing across the room from him.

"In honor of your birthday, we have gathered here to wish you a great one and promise a lifetime of friendship. Seeing as you picked a Bon Jovi song for our Glee assignment, we decided to sing one of his songs for you. Now, I'm more of a Lady Gaga/Beyoncé man myself, so I had Puck help me pick a song that properly demonstrated the guarantee of brotherhood –"

"– and sisterhood –" Mercedes put in.

"– between you and me, and you and Puck, between all of us," Kurt went on, "Now, the lyrics didn't exactly fit –"

"Dude, there was totally something about a prostitute and stealing cigarettes–" Puck interjected.

"Yes, and so we replaced them with something more appropriate to our situation." Kurt said loudly, narrowing his eyes at Puck.

"Without further ado, we hope you enjoy our performance of Blood on Blood by Bon Jovi." Rachel finished with her brilliant smile. She had insisted on having something to say, and Kurt had conceded. He knew that Finn was quite fond of Rachel, though Kurt couldn't really see or understand why.

Finn grinned his usual grin and sat down on a stool Kurt had placed strategically next to where he knew Finn would be.

Kurt took a breath and started to sing in his pure, strong voice. "_I can still remember__, w__hen I was just a kid__, w__hen friends were friends forever, and what you said was what you did__."_

Puck stepped forward. "_Well, it was me and Hummel and Hudson, we cut each other`s hands__, a__nd held tight to a promise__ o__nly brothers understand."_

Everyone followed with, "_But we were so young, one for all and all for one, just as sure as the river`s gonna run.__"___

Mike and Matt led them as they strode back and forth across the room, dancing in time as they sang, "_Blood on blood, one on one.__We`d still be standing__w__hen all was said and done.__Blood on blood,__ o__ne on one.__And I`ll be here for you till Kingdom come.__Blood on blood__."___

Rachel loudly rang out, "_Well, Finn, he was our hero, with his incredible voice. He knew the football guys would laugh __a__nd he still made the right choice__."___

Artie's voice was gentle with an edge, as always. "_Schuester knew this talent would__guarantee us a win__ a__nd Finn took us to Nationals__ a__nd we became champions.__"___

Their voices blended together, and it became hard to tell them apart. "_We were so young, one for all and all for one, just as sure as the river`s gonna run__. __Blood on blood__, o__ne on one__. __We`d still be standing__ w__hen all is said and done.__Blood on blood, one on one.__And I`ll be here for you__ t__ill Kingdom come,__Blood on blood__.__"_

And together, Puck and Kurt continued,_ "Through the years and miles between us__, i__t`s been a long and lonely ride. But if I got a call in the dead of the night,__I`d be right by your side.__"_

They went through the chorus again, with Mercedes belting out the last few notes as usual. Kurt's dad and Finn's mom had snuck in to listen and were standing by Finn when the song ended with a "Happy Birthday, Finn!" They had all clapped enthusiastically when the song finished and the Glee kids slapped each other on the backs with wild grins stretched across their faces. Kurt's voice could be heard above the cheers, complaining about the crazy hugs from everyone, claiming his new vest would be ruined, and that produced a hearty chuckle from Finn.

"Thanks, man," he said to his almost-step-brother as he pulled him in for a crushing hug.

"No problem, Finn," Kurt said straightening his sleeve. He had worn a white shirt under the vest he had bought with Tina and it totally complimented the pants Finn had gotten him for Christmas perfectly, as Kurt had known it would.

"Um. Nice outfit." Finn tugged on Kurt's sleeve, "I like purple."

"Yes, thank you. As you know, lavender's my favorite color. I was going to go for Dolce and Gabana, but Tina and Mercedes convinced me to try something less pricey," Kurt explained, indicating towards himself, "You don't think I need a hat? I _do _have this fedora that would work, but I was thinking it might be a bit too much and it would throw off the casual look I'm going for, and, as you may have guessed, the theme of this party is simplicity, because you're a pretty simple guy and all –"

"Hummel, you are such a freaking _girl._" Puck made his way over to Finn and clapped his hand on his best friend's shoulder, ruffling Kurt's hair as he did so.

"_My hair! Puck!"_ Kurt grabbed a mirror out of his pocket and began to furiously fix his hair, but not before sending a murderous glare Puck's way.

"Dude, your hairstyle didn't comply with the simpleness of this thing that we were goin' for. I was just trying to help." Puck winked, waving his hand around as Kurt had been doing earlier.

"It's alright, Kurt. I think you look just as nice with your hair all messy. It's more natural." Finn said comfortingly.

"Hmph," was all Kurt replied with, finally shoving his mirror back in his pocket after a few more seconds of frantically brushing his fingers through it.

Meanwhile, Kurt's dad had been going on about how amazing Mike's dancing was, and Mike had started showing him how to do a few moves, Matt throwing in a few helpful pointers from the side. Carol, who had heard so much about Rachel from her boys (positive news from Finn, negative from Kurt) was chatting with the girl, and from the comfortable smiles on both of their faces it was obvious that they approved of each other. Brittany had returned to Kurt's coloring book, and the rest of the group was talking amongst themselves cheerfully, some clustered around the food that Rachel had brought in earlier.

Eventually, Kurt announced that it was time to open presents (Finn had been eying the pile eagerly, and Kurt decided that it'd be cruel to make him wait any longer), and they made their way over to the area that had been set aside specifically for that purpose.

"Ooo, this one's really shiny," Finn cried, grabbing a sparkling package with a big silver bow on it. "I'll open this one first!

"That one's from me," Brittany said proudly, "My mom helped me pick the present, but I picked the wrapping paper all by myself."

Finn tore open the package with enthusiasm, then held up what was inside with a puzzled expression on his face. "A blanket?"

Brittany looked up from the wrapping paper she had picked up when Finn had cast it aside. The bow that had moments earlier been attached to the present was now fixed onto the top of her head."It's really, really soft. And you can use it as a cape too. Or a skirt."

"Wow, it _is _pretty soft…" Finn murmured, caressing the fabric and holding it up to rub against his face. "Thanks, Britt!"

Kurt rolled his eyes. Sometimes Finn reminded him of Lennie from _Of Mice and Men_ in the way that he was big, lovable, not all that bright, and that he had an unhealthy love for soft things. He strolled over to the pile of presents, picked up a blue striped one, and placed it in Finn's lap, saying confidently, "You'll find mine to be useful and sophisticated."

Finn pulled the paper off and pulled out a –

"You got Finn a _man_-_purse_!" Puck howled with laughter, falling onto the floor and clutching his stomach. The other guys laughed as well, while the girls and Artie tastefully tried to hide their amusement. Finn turned slightly pink, but tried to hide his embarrassment for Kurt's sake, holding the bag away from himself and pretending to examine it, turning it around in his hands.

"What?" Kurt sniffed, "It's elegant and classy, while at the same time being completely practical. I got it at the Louis Vuitton store on the Champs Elysees when I visited Paris last month. I have one similar to it and I find it quite handy. And don't you dare call it something as degrading as a '_man-purse'_ again, Puck, or I swear to God I will pluck out every strand of hair from your mohawk one by one," Kurt added with a glare. "Think of it as like a satchel, Finn; Indiana Jones has one."

"Uh, thanks, bro. I'm sure I'll find a use for it," was all Finn could muster, but Kurt still looked satisfied with his response and nodded happily in return.

Mercedes and Tina had gotten Finn clothes, which surprisingly, Finn and Kurt both had approved of. Mike had bought Finn about 20 pairs of socks because, as Mike had said, "Comfortable socks are one of the greatest, most satisfying things a man could have." Finn had agreed and thanked him fervently, saying that he had been meaning to get new socks for a while because his had quite a number of holes. Burt and Carol purchased Finn a fancy new golden wristwatch, one that Kurt had eyed with envy before turning away haughtily. Puck had gotten Finn a box of condoms and cigarettes "in honor of the original lyrics of the song," Puck had said mischievously, which caused Carol to turn pale while the kids fell into hysterics. Burt confiscated the cigarettes, but let Finn keep the other box "just in case," which just made Finn blush even more than he had when he had opened Kurt's present. Santana's present had been a Spiderman costume, because she knew how much Finn had obsessed over the movie. The other kids had laughed, so Finn laughed along with them, trying not to look too thrilled. Matt and Artie had put their money together to buy Finn two video games for his Xbox, which excited Finn to the point where Kurt began to worry for his new carpet. Rachel, in an attempt to "educate and enrich Finn's taste in music," had presented to him several copies of her favorite CDs with a small gold star plastered onto each of them. Quinn, the creative one, gave Finn a framed drawing she had made of the entire Glee club. Finn looked at it in awe, eyes wide, and everyone crowded around to admire it.

"Wow, you even put in my favorite suspenders," Artie said, clearly impressed.

"And that is most definitely something I would wear," Kurt approved.

Puck cried, "Yes! You made my guns look good!"

"Holy crap! I'm doing the robot!" Mike exclaimed.

Everyone sought out the little details and marveled at each of them. Quinn blushed a little, but her happiness was obvious.

"I know exactly where this should go," announced Finn, and he went over to his bedside table where he carefully leaned it against his lamp. It was a kind of big and it stood there precariously, but Finn assured them that he would hang it on the wall soon.

"I'll make sure he doesn't forget, don't worry," Kurt whispered in Quinn's ear, patting her on the shoulder. She giggled.

"Thanks Quinn, thanks a whole lot." Finn went over to envelop Quinn in a massive embrace, which quickly turned into a group hug.

"Picture time!" Carol announced, waving around her shiny digital camera.

"One moment, if you please!" Kurt called, taking out his mirror again and looking himself over as the group clustered around Finn. "Okay, I'm perfect."

"Say cheese!"

* * *

**(Epilogue-type-thing)**

"So, Finn," Kurt said later, lying in his bed after finishing his nightly moisturizing routine, "Did you have fun?"

"He'd better have," Puck said from the couch. He had decided to sleep over, as he couldn't be bothered dragging his lazy ass home. "Me and Kurt argued over all those plans way too much for him to have not been shitting himself with glee."

"Totally, dude," Finn, who was stretched across his own bed, still hadn't stopped smiling. "Thanks for not doing anything too over-the-top. I liked it this way 'cause I was like, able to focus on my friends without any distractions," Finn paused to look fondly at Quinn's drawing beside him before continuing, "My favorite part was when Puck smashed some of his cake into your face, and then you were all red and stuff and you screamed something like, 'Puck! I'm going to destroy you!' and Puck was all, like, laughing and stuff, and everybody was like, going to piss themselves because it was so hilarious and then you –"

"Yes, yes Finn, I remember," Kurt grumbled, "Noah Puckerman is just lucky that nothing had gotten on my clothes. Otherwise, I would have gotten a kitchen knife and sawed off Puck's most prized possessions and used them to feed the piranhas at the aquarium." Kurt brushed some of his hair off of his face and wiggled his toes with a smirk at the satisfying thought.

"Death to the junk," Finn said, wincing, not doubting Kurt's words for a second.

"Whatever, dude." Puck tried not to look afraid, but Kurt didn't miss how he placed his hand over his junk protectively. "My favorite part was the food. Specifically, the cake."

"God, that was like, the best cake ever. What store did you get it from?" Finn rubbed his bulging belly contentedly.

"I made it from scratch." Kurt answered. It was a recipe his mom had shared with him right before she… left. His cake was pretty good, but it was nothing compared to how his mother's tasted.

"No kidding?" Finn sat up and looked at Kurt incredulously.

"Dude, why didn't you bake me a cake earlier? You've been like, depriving the world of sugary goodness!" Puck accused.

"Uh, because you never asked?" Kurt shrugged, struggling not to look flattered. "Also Puck, the fact that you threw me into the dumpster on a regular basis couldn't have exactly filled me with the desire to reward you with my orgasmic cooking skills."

"Okay. First thing tomorrow, I'm asking you to bake me a cake," Finn promised.

"Well, if I don't get enough sleep, the first thing _I'm_ going to do tomorrow is punch you in the face," his almost-step-brother threatened.

"Right. Sure as hell don't want a repeat of what happened the last time you got less than eight hours of sleep. I still have the charred remains of my PS3," Finn said with a shudder.

"Dude, if he did that to me, I would've flushed his makeup down the toilet." Puck said.

"Well it was your fault for playing with the volume too loud," Kurt said defensively while aiming a bottle of moisturizer at Puck's head and chucking it at him, hearing a satisfying thud and a gasp. "And I did warn you."

"You did not!" Finn protested over Puck's moans, "All you did was growl at me."

"And that should have been enough. Now shut up. I need my beauty sleep."

"Hey, it's my birthday – you gotta be nice to me!" Finn complained jokingly.

Kurt shook his head. "Not anymore, it's not. It's past midnight. Today is just like any other day, and I can go back to treating you like everybody else."

"Oh. Well, darn."

"C'mon, Finn. Get some sleep," Kurt sighed, "You're going to need the energy tomorrow if you're going to be able to eat all that cake."

"But everybody ate all my birthday cake." Finn said in confusion.

"Correction: You and Puck ate all your birthday cake. I mean, you even licked all the icing clean off." Kurt shook his head in disgust.

"That cake was godly, dude. I wasn't going to let any of it go to waste, except for the bit that I smeared on you. That was definitely worth it," Puck said as an excuse, still massaging his head. Apparently, Kurt could throw as well as he could kick, so Puck didn't add the part about how he thought Kurt would make an awesome housewife someday.

"Wait… are you saying…" Finn couldn't finish.

"Yes, Finn. I will bake you a goddamn cake." Kurt rolled his eyes.

Puck rubbed his hands together. "And I will steal as much of it as I can."

"But this time I'll kick you right in the balls if you so much as get a crumb on me. And remember, I'm the kicker on the football team for a reason. Don't mess with this." Kurt glared, and once again, Puck's hand involuntarily moved to protect himself.

Finn squealed, trying not to sound too girly. "Yes! I love you! You're the best, Kurt!"

"Oh, I feel so special now. The first time you tell me you love me is as a response to me promising you cake." Kurt sighed. Boys and their food, he thought, shaking his head.

"I'll say it again if you make it chocolate this time."

"I'll say it as well," Puck added.

"Tempting."

"…I love you?" Finn made his best puppy dog eyes at Kurt, making the other boy giggle.

"Hm. Maybe." Kurt pretended to think, rubbing his chin, clearly enjoying the begging.

Puck said dramatically, "Your cake fills my life with joy and gives me a reason to live. Without it, I think I would drown in a black abyss of sorrow and depression and my soul would spontaneously combust."

"Okay, you win. Chocolate it is," chuckled Kurt, "Now seriously guys, shut up."

"Right. Goodnight, people," Finn said, curling himself up into a ball under the blanket Brittany had got him. It really was comfortable.

"G'night," the other boys answered.

There was silence for a while.

"…Finn?" Kurt asked hesitantly as soon as he heard Puck's soft snoring.

"Mhm?" the boy replied sleepily.

Kurt cleared his throat nervously. He wasn't sure if Finn would take this the wrong way or not. "…I love you too." He pauses and adds with a smirk, "I didn't think I'd like having a little brother this much. Even if it isn't exactly official just yet, it already feels that way."

"Hey, you're only like, three weeks older than me."

"You're still technically my baby brother." Kurt stated in his know-it-all voice. Finn knew he was smiling.

"Oh yeah? Let's see how it is when your _baby_ brother decides to sit on your face."

"…Crap." Kurt rather did enjoy having his face not flattened.

"That's right. People call me Frankenteen for a reason, bro."

"Baby Brother wouldn't dare when Big Brother can deny him cake," countered Kurt.

Finn was quiet for a moment. "…I hate you."

Kurt laughed quietly. "Sweet dreams, squirt."

* * *

**Okay, so this took me a while only because I didn't have my laptop for approximately a really, really long time. Anyway, what do you think? Leave a review, perhaps? Just for fun, y'know. Because leaving reviews is one of the most rewarding things of all time.**


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